The First Drunk

Do you remember your first time? Did you have all of the articles of clothing on that you started the night with? Did you remember where you parked the car? Did you wake up safely yet with a dull throb coming from your cerebrum the next morning in your own cocoon like bed? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you probably weren’t even trying…

Now, I’m not talking about that first legal night out on your 21st birthday, daring anyone and everyone to card you so that you can whip out your drivers license. I am talking about the times before then, the times when you had to work to find someone old enough to buy your beer for you, or search out (and find) an off the beaten path liquor store that blatantly just didn’t care that you were too young. Good times, good times.

My dad would tell me the story often about when I was two or three years old, and he asked me to grab him a cold one. I like to think that I fully intended to go and bring his beer back to him but the summer heat had sweat dripping off my toddler brow and I was going to perish without ice cold nourishment, so I had no choice but to crack open a beer to save my life. Yes, that is how it could’ve happened. Apparently, after an indeterminable amount of time, my father noticed that he did not have the beer that he requested in his hand, so he went looking for his brew courier only to find a happy little boy, leaning (still Upright) in the door jam, an empty open bottle in hand, and he thinks to himself, “Your mother’s going to kill me…” We both slept on the couch that night.

The first beer that I got upright on was Weinhard’s Private Reserve. Not an extravagant first choice I know, but how many of you jumped straight to the big leagues for your first experience? The following brew choices were equally poor with Mickeys, Old English, Coors Light and so on. Like life, this was a learning process, so what beers did you start your journey with?


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